mama of 2 update

One of my bffs is expecting her second daughter in a few months so I’ve been keeping her up to date with all the craziness that’s been going on in my world since we added Lily to our family. I do my best not to scare her with ALL the details, but I believe it’s only fair to share enough to at least prepare her.

A few weeks ago she sent me text asking, “What’s been the hardest part?” I dropped what I was doing and had to really think about it. I waited a few days to respond because so many things came to mind. I couldn’t define one thing in particular, it all kinda felt difficult!

But I was finally able to break it down into two parts:

1) Having two little humans that are so needy but in entirely different ways. Bryn needs me as mama/play companion while Lily relies on me in a more physical way (i.e. carrying, feeding, bathing, etc.) It’s been tricky trying to keep both entertained and happy, getting naps in, keeping both safe when they run/crawl off in opposite directions. We have chaotic days when everyone is overtired and cranky, but we also have lots of awesome days sprinkled in when things just seem to fall into place and I feel like supermom.

2) The fact that I have like ZERO time to myself, unless I sacrifice sleep. For example, I originally wrote this post in November as a 6 month update, had to modify as Lily is now 9 months old, and am now just getting around to posting… Even though Ryan and I make a great team, it feels like we’re both spread pretty thin, not to mention distant until both kiddos are down for the night. The lack of help/family nearby has been tough on us, but as the girls get older and more independent, life should get a bit more manageable. I don’t want to wish away the baby days, but I am looking forward to Lily being able to communicate with us, walk on her own, and eat without me watching her like a hawk. Literally every parent I’ve talked to lately reaffirms that we’re in the hardest of the hard part so I’m holding out for some kind of relief in the near future!

Basically, I have no idea what I’m doing and these last 9ish months have been rough, not gonna sugarcoat it, but I also believe everyone processes things differently so others may not have as harsh of an experience as I have. I want to tell my friend how I deal AFTER I’ve actually lived through it. Bryn is a whole year older than her first daughter, so I’ve had time to reflect on the things she’s asked me about, but I feel like I’m still in the thick of it with Lily. It’s too soon, ya know?! In other words, by the time her baby girl #2 arrives, I’ll feel better about shelling out advice.

I hope this wasn’t too graphic for anyone. Please don’t read it as discouraging! Mamas of soon-to-be two, you’re going to be fine. Tired AF, but fine. You’ll love your littles like an insane person and all the stress melts away the second you see them interacting. I promise. And now I’m crying. You’ll survive, don’t be scared. xx